On what doth thy ponder?

I was standing before the Keeper of the Gate at the Pearly Gates of Heaven, and I couldn't think of anything to say but TV jingles.

Uh-oh.

Yesterday I was smug

I was ecstatic.

I had finally discovered the secret to maintaining my bliss.

Finally! After all these years!

Today...

Well, today I discovered my secret needs some tweaking.

But I didn't jump out of the car while it was moving

I apologized for throwing Dr. Pepper in her face

And I did want to take a walk today

What's a measly seven miles?

Yesterday, it seemed so laughably easy.
Today, I am sore from my feet to my throat

Peace Out

The Sams, Winston-Salem, NC

Sam Moss, KD Rouse, Doug Williams, Dave Toaster Seward

Photo by Romulus Ray

Earth to KD! Where are you?

I've been thinking.

At first I was Jealous

Sam didn't come to me in my dreams like he did for all his other friends.
Me! KD!
Friend, BandMate, In and Out of Love, Smashing your guitar on my steps to get my attention, KD! We opened for Sister Hazel, Eric Johnson, Southern Culture on the Skids, and G-Love, KD, Remember, Sam?I am staring into space when I hear Sam clearly.
"Knock! Knock! Coconut Head! Come to the phone!"
"Don't boss me around", I say, but not with my old gusto, for I'm awfully glad to hear from him.
"You have the hardest #*&* head!" says Sam. "Nothing gets through!"
Sam explains that we can speak at anytime, just like we're doing.
"How do I know it's not just me talking to myself," I ask.
"What else is new," says Sam. "Coconut Head! Didn't you get my frog?"
"I thought that it might be just a coincidence," I sniff. "Although it did get my attention."
Miles of empty Carolina Beach, and while I cry and rage, I paw the sand into deep ruts around me. Then I feel something small and squishy in my hand.
It's a little frog.
A squishy, bright green, plastic frog with pop eyes. Very Sam.
Sam loved frogs. He called his beloved nieces 'the frogs' and thus had froggie this and thats everywhere in his house. The talk turned serious when I asked him why."I was a lot more sick than you knew," he said.
"But suicide?" I say. "Suicide?"
Sam says it seemed like a good idea at the time.
Now 2 plus years later, I have no more tears.I've made peace with Sam and his decision.
"Peace, My Ass!" snorts Sam. "Now will you please get off your Ass and Jam!"

Sam Moss giving me, KD, "the Look," at band practice, 2006.

Solo, Band, Solo, Band, Solo, Band

BOOM!

It was fun while it lasted:I will miss Sam Moss every day of my life, but it's not like I knew what to do with him when he was alive.

Once upon a time

I learned not to be all at the same place all at the same time.

You can live many lives if you keep them apart.

I like getting older because you have more time to think, and to do things.

It's a balancing act, and if you live long enough, you can learn to dance on the wire....

Or leap.

'Leap' by KD Rouse

KD Rouse

Woman of many faces.

Once I was a lumbering amoeba.

Now I fly like a bird.